& Feel Healthier and Happier as a Result!
ENVIRONMENT
Blame Game
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t seems everywhere we look, everywhere we hear, and everywhere we otherwise interact seems to bring with it feelings of doom and gloom – not to mention restraint……. But haven’t you read these words before? Why, only my last post in fact! ‘So what’s new?’ You might ask. Indeed, what is?
We’re all seemingly with our heads down, feeling sorry for ourselves – or at least some of us seem to be, and it’s perhaps unsurprising in view of the constant unremitting messages from the media. It erodes confidence, focuses on the negatives, playing on ‘fear’, and generally serving no useful purpose but to keep us in check and looking for help and guidance from our leaders. A certain dependency, or at least tendency in that direction is fostered, and rather than feel cheated by the system, we look inwards.
We end up moaning and groaning to friends, family, colleagues and others we meet, convincing ourselves that as so many people are being affected, that we are justified in feeling that we too, as an individual are a part of it. We effectively surrender our destiny to someone else; someone who actually has no ‘power’, nor ‘control’ over us, but we have chosen to believe do. This is a mind game; and I don’t mean that flippantly.
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hether we succeed or fail in life is actually very little to do with whether or not the economy and other people do well, but more a case of our own mindset. It’s been said that for every 1 positive thought, there are 3 negative ones, which therefore largely explains why so many people don’t succeed to a higher level, and one they are in fact perfectly capable of.
Simply put, it’s one’s attitude more than anything else that determines one’s success in life – in whatever form ‘success’ means for you (spiritual, monetary, happiness and contentment etc.). In other words, the difference between he whom succeeds and he whom fails, is attitude: what they focus on; how they spend their time; and what actions they take.
We all have 24hrs a day; and we all have access to a wealth of material to help us, such as the internet, libraries, personal and community support organisations (in the case of developed countries), as well as friends, family and colleagues etc.. Whether you see your glass as half empty or half full is, again, dependent on your mindset. It’s simply a matter of choice. This is where it’s down to you; each of us as individuals, to take responsibility for yourselves, and not pass this onto anyone else, or our community at large.
Those who justify their position in life, with excuses, any excuses, does nothing to put the situation right. Laying the blame at your family, upbringing, ex-partner, where you live, your physical condition or your formal education is not being fair to yourself. The only thing stopping you succeed is YOU! ………….Many successful people came from poor backgrounds; many successful people had poor education; and many successful people have been through bad relationships. However, that didn’t stop them! They didn’t let these experiences prevent them from succeeding.
To justify failure, is failure! One hasn’t therefore moved on. Let the expression ‘fail to succeed’ mean something different to what it perhaps does to most people. ‘What does he mean?’ I hear you say. Well, when I say ‘fail to succeed’ someone might read ‘failure’ in that. Well the word failure is in there; but - and this is important – if you stop and think for a moment, and dwell on each individual word making up this thought, you’ll see another interpretation: ‘Fail to succeed’ can mean ‘failure comes before success’! You have to fail in order to succeed! Now you are perhaps getting to where I am in thought on this, and that success in life is merely what you make it to be. So now when you read the words ‘fail to succeed’ you’re thinking something different. It’s a matter of choice; choice as to how you react and/or interpret things.
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mpowerment starts here! Resentment, jealousy, envy, blame, and abdication of responsibility have no place in the head of someone successful, with a conscience, and who also plans on being at peace with oneself and feeling happiness and contentment in life. Of course pure economic wealth can be anyone’s with a bit of work and ingenuity; but happiness, true happiness will remain elusive unless one is also with high moral standards, is ethical, principled and doesn’t let greed become a part of their thinking. This of course includes not only a caring for others, but for mother nature and the planet as a whole. We are all interdependent and closely linked; not as separate as we’d sometimes like to think.
The building blocks, or foundations you might say, would advisedly be diet and exercise as a part of this ‘whole’ – as mentioned in an earlier posting, no need to repeat myself here. An imbalance, or lack of any of these elements would adversely affect another. For example, it’s of little value to focus entirely on your business goals, as the family will undoubtedly be missing your presence and attention.
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lternatively, if you’re so focussed on enjoyment in life (equating self-centred or even selfish, depending on the degree) that your work and/or family suffer as a result (either your business providing you an income that then starts to fail; or starvation of your time where the family is concerned) then this imbalance will result in a heavier price being paid elsewhere, as the domino effect kicks in and the whole structure begins to weaken, or crack and crumble if left.
One might over eat (psychological imbalance) to ‘feed’ a comfort habit, but then put on unnecessary weight; or reduce exercise in favour of working longer hours, for whatever reason, will impact on your health (less fit and maybe stress levels increased); or smoking or drinking to excess may feed a habit, but the price is a less healthy body, and so on and so forth. No amount of money or freedom is worth much without good health and other people to share it with!
IN CONCLUSION
Taking responsibility, by putting others as equally important as your good self, and with due consideration and deference to mother nature, on whose planet we live and share with each other, is ultimately what matters in life. Accepting also plays a significant part; although it doesn’t necessarily mean total acceptance. However, the more you do accept the easier and faster the path to wealth and happiness. Being accepting of your circumstances is one massive step forwards, as is accepting ‘responsibility’ itself – in not only the fact that you are responsible for your current situation, but that you duly consider both other people and the environment (your environment after all, as it belongs to us each and every one of us; all living things as well as the physical world !). As has been said already, we all need other people to co-operate with socially and economically, and we all need nature to provide sustenance, in both nutrition and for a healthy physical as well as visual environment.
Aspirations and goals provide targets and direction in life, as opposed to a rudderless drifting with no sense of purpose and little sense of worth. Our aims and ideals necessarily must change as we travel our respective paths, and discover new things along the way that may change our perception and values; but to start with the end in mind, without fear of ‘failure’, as failure only comes into being when ones gives up trying; whereas a truly successful person has no fear of failure, as each fall is not a failure but a lesson on the road to your chosen destination. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, springs to mind; and to deny oneself a goal for fear of failure, when failure is only a stage on the road to your goal, is to admit defeat, admit worthlessness, and deprive oneself of esteem. Happiness will consequently forever be an illusion. Denial is resistance; resistance is fear; and fear will not allow happiness to prevail.
It’s important to also recognise that the route you take to your destination will almost certainly change as you travel; but that matters not, for there are different roads leading to the same place. Remember to enjoy the journey, as it’s as important, if not more so, than the destination. Rarely are things as you’d imagined; and it would be a pity to spend/waste your valuable time and life focussing only on the destination, when the journey had many beautiful and wondrous moments to saviour and enjoy. So we need to enjoy this aspect as well as the company we keep on this journey. It’s a one way train, arguably, so make the best of it J
So take control of yourself, and you’ll take control of your life. Forces beyond your control will of course occasionally intrude, but let them not stop you in your endeavour. Feelings of self worth, achievement, gratitude, abundance and general wellbeing will then result, and with balance in all the areas mentioned, will present an opportunity for happiness, as it’ll be well within your grasp. For if one who cannot accept ‘goals’ in principle, is also not accepting ‘happiness’, for that is a goal being strived for too! Be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Don’t let inaction and procrastination turn into excuses, or vice versa, for not trying in the first place, in the mistaken belief that things will somehow ‘work themselves out’. This is a poor excuse to justify and support an unwillingness to take responsibility, which can then translate into positive action. To not do this is a recipe for mediocrity; or worse, a powerless, drifting journey through life with little real joy, excitement nor true happiness. Contentment possibly, but this should not be confused with happiness. Life is surely worth more than that? Aren’t you worth more than that? This is to surrender and let one’s spirit die. In no uncertain terms it’s a poor excuse for laziness, and represents true failure. The only person really being cheated is you, if one doesn’t take stock of the situation nor takes proactive steps to matters. This is living a reactive life as opposed to a proactive one. Life is to be lived not to exist or endure. Loss of faith in anything, is actually loss of faith in oneself - if it’s resulted in the general malaise and/or loss of direction in life for that person. As one famous figure succinctly states: ‘How you do anything, is how you do everything!’
Turn and face the beast; not turn your back and pretend it isn’t there. We are all more than this, but not all become what they are capable of achieving. The gift of life is a gift indeed! We should celebrate this, not dwell on what isn’t right with us or our surroundings. Indeed have goals and aim higher, but meanwhile enjoy the journey and count your blessings daily.
CONCLUSION EXERCISES
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efore going to sleep at night, reflect on that past day, and mentally acknowledge – out loud with your partner if you have one – at least 3 positive things from it. It can be anything, from the smallest thing to the largest, most important. It doesn’t matter what, nor the ‘size’, but just the fact that you have acknowledged those small positives. To ‘celebrate’ these moments is more positive and empowering than may be given credit for; as quite apart from the mind throwing up more negatives than we care to notice, and playing havoc on our subconscious as a result, as a species we do tend to focus on what we haven’t managed to do, rather than what we have. Why do we beat ourselves up about not having done something, when we could pat ourselves on the back for what we have done?
Effectively we have almost to ‘re-program’ our minds. Condition them into a new mindset that helps rather than hinders us. We have so much negativity around us, in the news and media, and hear it so often, that in time we of course begin to think within the framework we’ve created – or at least the framework that we’ve allowed to be created in our minds.
Being aware of what’s happening allows us to take steps to change things – if we choose to! We mustn’t let those doom and gloom stories dictate how we feel or run our lives. To do so is to surrender to external mental conditioning. If that’s the case then why do we simply lay down and let it happen? Surely we don’t truly want to give control over to others? That is what we’d effectively be doing; but are people even aware that this is happening? And of those that are, do they want or believe that they can do something about it? Sadly the answer in both cases is no, for we are so, so deeply conditioned as it’s been happening for most of our lives, that we are therefore limited in thinking and beliefs as a result. However, evidence shows that this need not be the case. We might believe in free choice, but we don’t truly live it. Belief constraints or monetary constraints, either way we feel ‘limited’ in reality.
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o, if you wish to change your life, first change your mindset. It’s simply a matter of deciding to, in the first stage; then taking action in the second: Daily/nightly go through the simple exercise of ‘3 positive things’ (some say ‘5 positive things’ – it really doesn’t matter too much about the numbers, but more the habit of doing it!).
Perhaps you might want to experiment, by also adding to this and not listening to the news for a day, or even a week, to see what difference it makes to your life. After all, does simply knowing about what bad news surrounds you change anything for the better within you? It might if you were to do something about what you hear; but most of us don’t. However, once you become positive and stronger over time, then you may feel you want to help others, as you help yourself along in life. It’s your choice – and a choice it is!
Also reading about positive things and self-improvement material, daily, helps enormously on the road to changing your life into what you feel happier with and feel more fulfilment for. Maybe one might want to make this a habit too! Remember, invest in yourself! J


